Get Me Outta Here

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Hey guys, you would not believe what happened to me the other day. Boyfriend and I were bored so we decided to go to one of the coffee shops. Everything was perfect. I had mochachocolatte and a cinnamon roll. The place was packed and the ambiance was great. It was one of those coffee shops where almost everyone would hang out in. This particular coffee shop had been around for years. One of the oldest coffee shops here.. I ran into a couple people I knew and chit chatted a bit. Then boyfriend and I were in our own little world and not even the buzzing gossips of a couple socialites in the table behind us could pull us back into the real world.

So anyhow...I was about to check for any messages on my cellphone, particularly expecting a text from my mom because it was already 1:30am (I'm 20-something yet still have a curfew, can you believe it? On weekdays I need to be home by 12midnight). Turns out cellphone's battery was dead. Which explains why my cellphone had been silent the whole night. I asked bebeh to check his cellphone to see if mommy had texted him, much to my surprise mommy didn't text him. So anyhow, something shiny caught my eye. I looked into my purse and saw my tiny mirror reflecting my oily complexion. Uh-oh looks like it's time for me to go to the ladies room to retouch a bit and I also had to urge to pee.

So, I tell my boyfriend that I'd be back. Ran to the ladies room and peed and also did my make up. All girls would not mind staying in the ladies room. There's the mirror to show you how pretty you look. So anyway, this ladies room is exactly just a ladies room. Well it was like a tiny room, with a big mirror, a sink area, and beside it was one toilet. So, as you can imagine, it could only accommodate one lady at a time.

Retouching my make up took about 10 minutes. And after smiling at the lovely lady in front of the mirror (ahem, that's me, and this is my blog, so please bear with my occasional conceitedness. hehehe) I turned the golden knob with a smile that I knew made me look radiant. Uh-oh! Turned the knob but the door wouldn't open. Ok...maybe I'm doing this wrong, but how hard could turning a knob get? And again, the door wouldn't budge. Ok, what am I going to do? Scream for help? Pound the door with my fists until someone hears me, despite all the talking and background music? Cellphone...text bf for help... Oh shit...battery is dead! I'm screwed!... ok maybe I'm not, this mirror is my best friend. I smile at the mirror and well well well, just at the corner portion of this golden mirror there is a small cockroach!

Panic mode.... I slowly back up against the wall, far away from the cockroach. What do I do, what do I do??? I try my luck with the door again and still nothing. I have officially been in the ladies room for 30 minutes by this time. Where the hell is my boyfriend? Isn't he worried? Why hasn't he come looking for me. Ugh...he is going to get it when I get out of the restroom, and that is a promise! My fingers called and slowly my fist balled up. I knocked on the door and shouted for help. But no one came. As I was about to give it a big hard bang...the cockroach FLEWWWW to the door! Aaaaghhhh..I screamed. And as I ran away from the door I noticed a fatter cockroach! I think that was the Mama Roach! I run as fast as I could to the toilet and put the toilet lid down using my foot. I'm now standing on top of the toilet bowl and doing some major stretching to reach for the sink. I finally get the water to turn on, I cup my hand to collect the water while the other hand grabs hold of the sink to help me balance. And as I gather the water I decide to splash it on to the cockroach. Bad idea, cockroach went wild and ran here and there as fast as it could. And the other one flew somewhere. I removed my shoe and threw it at the cockroach but sadly I missed. I was not getting down from the toilet. Mr or Mrs Cockroach was definitely going to plan for a revenge. I held my bag against my chest and had my barefoot stepping on one of the notebooks I had in my bag. No way was I going to step on a public toilet's top lid with my barefoot. ewww...
I was getting claustrophobic. The ladies room felt so small and I felt like I was in a coffin for some reason. At last someone knocked on the door. One of the staff tried to help me out but still the door wouldn't budge. The big security guard kicked the door open. Behind him stood my boyfriend and many other curious coffee drinkers. Ugh...this is soooooooooo embarrasing. Someone please just shoot me. Boyfriend came to me with a smirk on his face. Got my shoe for me, placed it on my foot and carried me down. People clapped. And well I was just wanting to die of embarrassment.

A is for.....?

English is an international language. Wherever you go in the world you will always be safe so long as you know how to speak English you won't need to worry much. Although I'm sure there will be communication barriers every now and then, especially when you are in a foreign land and the person you are talking to knows very little English.

Having grown up in the U.S. for most of my childhood and early teenage years, I feel so happy whenever I run into someone from the U.S. I hardly ever have the chance to speak with someone who actually has an American accent here in the Philippines.

What seems to annoy me a bit is when people try to speak English and pretend that they grew up in the U.S. when their accent actually says it all. Locals who cling on to their foreign blond hair, blue eyed significant others and pretend to speak as if English has always been their natural language.

Just a few days ago, a client (who wreaked of cheap cologne that made my nose itch and who dressed a bit too slutty for a Monday morning) came into my office. She came into the office wearing a top that was far too low and showed too much cleavage and skirt that was too short to already be considered obscene. These are the type of women you usually see in a bar working the pole. So anyhow, she and her cute blond haired boyfriend had some matters to discuss with me. The lady asked for my name and I said, my name is Melissa. and she was like, "oh ok, hi MEH-LEH-SA." ummm...ok, she totally murdered my name. She also asked me where the restroom was, and I replied in our local language. She told her boyfriend "The bathroom is upstair." She flipped through magazines and waited for her boyfriend. Then we went on to discuss their concern. To finalize everything I asked her for her complete name. When we got to her last name, I just didn't understand what she said. So I asked her how to spell it and she said "A...you know...like A is for AIN-DIA (INDIA...LOLSSSSS)...and G for ummm... G for jar..." ok so now I was totally confused. I glanced at her blond haired companion and I saw him smirk. The lady snapped at me and said, "DON'T YOU UNDERSTANDSS ENGLISH?" ooookayyyy now. whatever. so I played along and said, "You mean, like A is for Apple?" and she said, "no, A not for Eh-pol...A like AIN-DIA..."

My foot was totally shaking under the table as I tried to hold back the laughter. Good thing for her I found everything she said humorous despite her shallow arrogance. If I was in a bad mood, I probably would have put her in her place and taught her how to speak in English properly.

Sweet Temptation

Have you ever wanted something so bad you could taste it. Oh man, did I want it a few weeks ago. I could just picture myself licking it to the very last sweet drop. Oh now, dont go thinking dirty... It's not what you think. For the past few weeks I've been really craving for Selecta's Keso (Cheese) ice cream stick (It's a brand of ice cream in the Philippines). yum! slurp! I have it twice or three times a week with my oh so sexy partner in crime, Ms. Bubbles (who I by the way envy coz she just doesn't seem to get fat.) As I was getting off from work she planned to have keso before we go our separate ways. When we got to selecta we decided not to anymore since our rides would be coming soon. Grr...how I pictured it melting in my mouth! So instead of that sweet temptation I went to the gym. I worked out to death. 2 hours of cardio. my goodness! Anyways... Around 11:30pm I looked through our fridge and oh, there goes the keso ice cream stick. Just one more stick left. The golden keso glimmered in the fridge full of ice. But wait, here comes my diet conscious self, should I eat it, should I not? Back and forth the question kept coming.But it's so late, I decided to make it my cheat day. So here goes all this keso ice cream straight to my thighs! If only fats could melt as fast as ice cream, now wouldn't that be such a dream?! But hell, I worked out hard, gotta treat myself to just one stick right? My taste buds got the best of me. So, I opened the keso ice cream, licking it near the sink, lick by cheesy lick and slurp by slurp. It was so gosh darn good. I enjoyed every lick of it. Then all of a sudden, it fell into the sink. Oh Man!!! I wasn't even able to lick at least half of it. And so there goes my sweet escape. Down the sink. I guess it's not meant to be....huhuhu...well there's always another tomorrow. Which has got me thinking...Maybe I can make tomorrow my cheat day. Anyone wanna have some ice cream with me? Cheese flavored ice cream is actually pretty good. =)

Ewwwww

I couldn't think of a better title and while retelling this incident which happened last week the first word that popped into my mind was Ewwwwwww

When the maid cleans the house my grandma would always notice if a spot wasn't cleaned or if our beds were not made properly and the wrinkles we tried to hide or smooth out. I remember being pinched by my grandma whenever I would yawn with a mouth shaped like that of a cave and not covering it. Every single detail was always important, down to the cleanliness of my nails, my posture, the way I speak, the tone of my voice, manners, etc. Eventually I have learned to get used to these watchful eyes.

Lately though, I'm starting to feel that all those ideas have started to rub off on me and I seem to get irritated by the smallest things. Things having to do with hygiene is very important. I was over at a friend's house. This is a new friend of mine by the way. I had dinner over at her house and first there weren't any serving spoons. One of her sister had a cold and used her spoon to get some food. The same spoon which she ate from.Oh my...I hope I don't catch her cold.Her sis was eating in a very noisy manner with her mouth wide open...plak plak plak I heard every chew she made as she ate. After dinner while my new friend and I were chit chatting, her dad joins in on the conversation. While joining in on the conversation and commenting every now and then, as I sat on the couch her dad stood in front of me and told us stories and was also flossing his teeth! Ewww... I felt one of the food particles hit my cheek! OH EMMM GEEEE (OMG!). My brain went into panic mode. I listened to her dad and smiled as I fidgeted through my bag for a kleenex or hanky. At last I found a hanky, I casually wiped off the food particle from my cheek. Oh man, this is unbelievable. And he didn't even apologize. This new friend of mine then asked if she could borrow my cellphone to send a text message to her boyfriend. When she returned my cellphone it felt really dirty. It was sticky. Ugh... Geez. Either I am obsessive compulsive or these people have really poor hygiene. I wanted out of her house a.s.a.p. Someone please get me out of there!

She invited me over to her house again to hang out, but that was an offer I could most definitely decline. I declined the offer in a nice way, but promised to make it up to her by offering to have lunch at my house instead. I can't imagine living the horror of having a chewed up food particle landing anywhere on me for the second time. ewww....